curating friendship, nurturing social health
the story of friendship archive
Friendship Archive is a new, slowly developing project.
Its purpose is to invite people to reflect on how diverse practices of friendship might nurture social health. Its method is deep listening, gracious collaboration, courageous thinking, and compassionate accompaniment.
I am asking people what friendship means to them, what real differences it makes, and how to practice it well. I am also asking people to share resonant photographs, poetry, and other artistic expressions that embody presences and absences of friendship.
I will curate what people share with me in coffee shops, storefront windows, dinner parties, schools, libraries, faith-based organizations, and community events. In time, I will also write a book about what the world taught me about friendship.
This project began on the streets of Seattle. After conducting ethnographic research with people experiencing homelessness for nearly a decade, I learned something that changed me and sparked this project: the presence of a good friend can help someone feel at home in the world—and friendship is a learned art that’s integral to building a more loving and just future.
The Aspiring Friend Archivist
Paul Blankenship-Lai is a scholar, writer, and ethnographer working to understand how we might cocreate a more loving world. Raised in San Diego, he holds a PhD from the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley and has served as a university teacher, research collaborator, and Quaker pastor. His first book, Soul Woundedness: Spirituality on the Streets, was published by Fordham University Press and received a Silver Award at the 2026 Nautilus Book Awards.
He delights in simple things—like walks with his beloved life partner beside quiet waters and listening to others talk about what’s beautiful.
